Our Sole Source of Life

It is so easy to think that conversion is a one-time event, that precise moment when we truly and fully surrendered our lives to Christ. I’ve turned my life over to Christ on a number of occasions during my life, but I eventually wound up taking it back. What made my dramatic experience in the empty church in Rome in 1995 so different is that it came with the understanding that conversion was an everyday thing, that each and every day of my life had to be surrendered to Christ or else I would find myself once again on the throne of my life. Each day I needed to be reminded of my complete dependence upon God. As I began to feel more deeply God’s mercy and grace, I was able in turn to be more merciful to others…especially the poor and marginalized. Still, over time, I often moved God to the sidelines of my life.

“This day is yours, Lord,” I say each day upon rising. Yet, before I even finish my first cup of coffee, the day has become mine. Hidden in the humor of that statement is the reason why daily conversion is so hard and so important: it is easy to forget God. It is easy to turn to God only when our backs are to the wall or we are facing grave danger. Sadly, God is often the last option. But God wants more than being our first option: God desires to be our only option. Only when God becomes our sole source of life is true human peace and joy possible.

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4 Responses to “Our Sole Source of Life”


  1. 2 aliceny May 20, 2014 at 11:12 am

    I have had three what may be called epiphany experiences during which I felt a strong presence of God, his love, and his mercy. My life changed drastically in many ways as a result. I never wanted to return to the person that I was before those gifted moments.

    These events created a deep spiritual hunger in me. They opened my eyes to so many things — to the poor and despised in our society; to those suffering silently in emotional pain; to those who felt abandoned and alone; and to those who are seeking the ‘other’ in their lives – that which will make their lives have meaning and give them courage and hope to continue. I am grateful for that. The problem is: I am experiencing a serious dichotomy that is tearing me apart.

    What you have said here today is causing me to be unsure of myself as to how sincerely and deeply I want to completely turn my life over to God. Perhaps it may be that He will say ‘no’ to something that I want or think I need. Totally surrendering my will has got to be the most difficult thing that I have ever attempted. I know that it means letting go of all my crutches and excuses and reaching out to Him to grab on to, holding tight, and trusting that He knows what I need.

    The problem is that I have very deep feelings for someone who said that he, too, had the same feelings for me. I know that he was in the midst of a traumatic emotional state at the time and could not, nor did not want to, pursue the matter further. I am left in the lingering pain of following the feelings that I had at that time (and still have) but don’t know how to proceed. I have prayed about this matter for over a year. God seems to be silent. That silence is what hurts the most at this point.

    Putting my feelings in print like this has been extremely difficult for me to do.
    You do this in your posts frequently and that, I believe, may be one of the most valuable part of your ministries. We need to hear that others have the same difficulties, that we are not alone in our human journeys.

    • 3 Jerry May 21, 2014 at 11:07 pm

      “We need to hear that others have the same difficulties, that we are not alone in our human journeys.”

      That is so very true.


  1. 1 Daily conversion is so hard and so important « Franciscan Quote of the Day Trackback on May 23, 2014 at 5:51 am

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